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A careless commentA careless comment

IlzeNomiIlzeNomi4 years agoAsk MFC
I love my family very much, which is why it hurts extra bad when they don't accept you for who you are... Or what you do with your money.

I decided it's about time I get a proper cabinet and organised with my father to go buy the parts. We get into a fight over how my cabinet should look as well as the many restrictions about wall mounted objects set by my landlord. I told my father that I had to start with my cabinet because I am out of space to pack stuff to which he replied with: "You have to stop buying that stuff. You can't buy a car and figures."
He may not have intended it in a negative way and are only looking out for me but it hurt to be told I have to stop figure collecting. To stop collecting what I love. I am aware of my situation and are currently buying less and less + I am even going to use my Japan trip savings to add to the deposit for the car.

So I'd like to hear from everyone:
1. Does your family accept your figure collecting? Have you manage to convince them?
2. Have you also had to put a halt on figure collecting for something more importand/vise versa?
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Your first question doesn't apply to me: I'm old and living halfway across the USA from my family, so what they think doesn't matter a bit. :) They vaguely know I collect figures of some kind... I think my mother thinks it might be something like Hummel figures or something. I see no need to correct her.

But, have I had to put a halt to figure collecting? No, but I have in the past had to put other hobbies on hold (I hadn't started collecting figures back then). About 15 years ago I was doing quite well... until I lost my computer consulting job (along with half the programmers/analysts in the world at the time, it seemed like) and was lucky to find a job at half the pay. For almost five years, I bought nothing that was not absolutely required to live -- and certainly nothing on any hobbies, anime related or otherwise. That was a hard time, but I'm doing better now.

Let me translate a bit from old-man-speak what your father said. He's not saying your hobby is something that you will never ever in your life be permitted to partake of. He's saying that if you need to buy a car, devoting your current level of resources towards that goal should be your highest priority at this time. I assume you need a car in order to travel around more easily, and perhaps in order to get to places you need to be (job? school? minstrel shows?).

If having the car will let you more easily do things that will result (now or in the future) in your likely earning more money later, then look at purchasing the car as in investment now that will let you get more figures later.

This is not to say that until you get the car, that you shouldn't buy ANY figures. You still have to live, after all, and not ever doing anything at all that you enjoy is a very grim way to live -- or really, to merely exist. If you've met your obligations for the month (or whatever time period is appropriate) and placed your planned hunk of cash into the "IlzeNomi's gotta get a car" fund, and you still have some left over, then sure buy a figure. Or if it's not enough, stuff it into "IlzeNomi's damn well gonna get a figure sooner or later" fund, and get one when it is enough to get one.

From what you report your dad said, he's probably just trying to point out that long term goals usually require short term delay of gratification. The key word there is delay -- not total renunciation forever and ever. Oh, and it's okay if you find it difficult to do, because most people are like that. Learning to prioritize what you need and what you want is really important though.

Now, compare the short statement your father made, with my long-winded rambling nonsense, and see which one you'd really rather listen to! :D :D :D
4 years ago
Recent Comments
I didn't have much convincing to do to have my hobby accepted at home. Being nearly thirty probably helps with being left to my own choices, as well as keeping a firm grasp of my other priorities. In sure that my dad wishes I had a collection of cars or something manlier, but he doesn't judge me poorly, rather just bugs me a bit about my next shipment of dollies coming in the mail.

I've definitely had to put a damper on my collecting though, not a full stop or anything, but a big slow down. My first real year of collecting here I got a little carried away with myself and trying to catch up with years of previously released figures. This year I've cut back my preorders nearly 100% and greatly reduced what I'm buying in general.

I must say though that I have been lucky in life by growing up in a house full of mechanics, buying my last car was less of an investment than some of my single figures (ITEM #22653 alone cost 3x what my car did, lol)
4 years ago
Gigan22 (4 years ago) #2308761My dad doesn't say anything about my collecting. I sometimes think he must feel at least somewhat disappointed his son isn't into cars or typical guy stuff like he is/was.
At least your dad is into cars. I am disappointed my dad isn't even into car stuff or any stuff for that matter. He just seem uninterested in most things. Come to think of it, we never really did anything together. :( I think he likes gardening though, maybe I should spend some time with him on that.
4 years ago
I don't know if my family cares about it. I know mum doesn't like it, but we have never had a serious argument about it, she just told me I should spent less money.

It was actually myself who realised I should stop and sell some stuff in order to pay my studies.

You know, everybody has a hobby and spend money on it. I think there's no problem if you can control the money you spend on it.
4 years ago
1. I've posted this before, but my family doesn't seem to mind. My mother worries about how much money I'm spending, but I manage my money well(even if I don't put as much into savings as I should) so she really doesn't have much to worry about. I suppose getting a package every couple weeks will make a mother do that. She has stated that she "likes all of them(speaking about my figures)." I half think that comment was to somehow make me feel less alienated in my hobby or something. I dunno.
My dad doesn't say anything about my collecting. I sometimes think he must feel at least somewhat disappointed his son isn't into cars or typical guy stuff like he is/was.

2. I put my collecting(anime merch wise) on hold for a year or so back in 2012. I had just bought my SUV and payments are $300 a month plus another $100 for insurance. It's not that I couldn't afford both the truck and my hobby, it was more a conscious effort to save money. That and there wasn't a whole lot coming out that I wanted, and what I was spending was focused more on video games and blu-rays than anime stuff. I kinda go in waves with what I'm collecting at a particular time. There are a lot of games coming out in September I want, so my spending will be there instead of figures and doujinshi.

As far as your dad's comment, WanderingWastrel pretty much nailed it. He's only concerned and wants you to get a car, but he's seeing money that could be spent getting a car going towards your hobby. That doesn't mean he wants you to stop collecting entirely.
4 years ago
1. my family is used to it. no one really cares enough to force me out of it.
2. definitely...for holidays, trips, food, life in general. its more i compromise a month or two and give up a figure for it, and i still have many other hobbies outside of figure collecting T^T
4 years ago
icedblueberry Kise Ryouta Fangirl
1. Does your family accept your figure collecting? Have you manage to convince them?

My 2nd eldest sister was the one who got me into figure collecting so she hasn't had much to say against it :P She probably knows that at my age I should put more money into saving for college instead of blowing it on figures, which is why she doesn't look encouraging when I say I'm about to buy new figures, but she doesn't do the opposite either.
I don't know how my dad feels, but I know my eldest sister and mom are both against me expanding my collection because of the space it takes up. I'm only 17 and I'm going to to live in a college dorm during the next school year, and I'll only have two boxes I can leave at home. This presents a huge problem since I have an entire wall of anime figure boxes and no where to put them. I know they're only trying to think of me, so I've been putting up lots of my figures for sale and cutting down a LOT on the number of figures I buy. On the other hand, before my collection exploded into something unmanageable, my mom was pretty supportive and really liked some of the figures I got :P She thinks they're cute. She was even accepting of the cast-off figure I got! (although a bit shocked)

2. Have you also had to put a halt on figure collecting for something more important/vise versa?

I'm about to have to do that soon, as explained earlier, for college :( Not looking forward to that.
I want to know more about how other college students handle their figure collecting. I hope no one steals/damages them in my dorms...

Just a side note, are you sure your dad is unsupportive of your hobby? Of course I don't know the whole story, and I only know what you posted, but he doesn't sound like he's discouraging figure collecting as a whole, just that it's unwise to continue it when you're saving for something as expensive as a car (which honestly, is sound advice). From what I can tell, it just seems like a misunderstanding... I'm sure they're okay with figure collecting itself!
4 years ago
icedblueberry Kise Ryouta Fangirl
4 years ago
GollyGeeItsBoo SHSL Saniwa
I only live with my mother and my sister, so I don't have too many people judging what I do. My sister is only 15 so she doesn't really say much. My mother just doesn't ask many questions. As long as I can pay for it, it doesn't seem to matter. When I get something in the mail she'll just say "oh did you get another one?" And even though she doesn't sound too interested, when she talks to other family members about it or just anyone in general she gets a bit excited, like she's showing off my collection for me haha. I'm lucky enough to have a family that supports what I like/do for the most part, but I do know people who aren't as lucky. Sometimes you just have to ignore the others and do what you love. But I can also understand your fathers concern for you. I don't think he meant that you should completely stop when he said that, I just think it was more of a hint at him telling you to slow down a bit and focus more on the necessities for the time being.
4 years ago
Long story short, no. My dad does not like it at all and always tells me to stop. My mom is indifferent but has hinted at me having too much stuff. Here's what I try to do to cope.

You see, my dad collects vintage cameras (in unworking condition though >.<). What I do is, I got him this set of miniature cameras. ENCYCLOPEDIA #51531 So the next time he gets pissed, there's a little something I planted there to make him feel guilty, haha. :p At least that's the plan. MmmMmmhttp://www.troll.me/images2/excellent-mr-burns/excellent.jpg...

Nah, just kidding. Just get a little something for your family as a sincere gift, not to make them feel guilty (only partly) but to let them have a feel of things. Maybe a Revoltech Woody for your dad; everybody loves Hentai Woody. Or a Nendoroid for your mom; everybody loves kawaii ~desu ~desu stuff.

Get them animu gifts
4 years ago
katsudon Play-Along Tsukkomi
My friends and family aren't supportive, but whatever- it's your life, it's your money, as long as you don't let the hobby consume you there's nothing wrong with it.

But if you want to get a car, you might need to cut back a bit, monthly payments and insurance aren't cheap, and will probably be around the price of 3-4 new figures.

Best of luck to you.
4 years ago
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