While I'm cautious in regard as to why someone would use MFC for that since I do know other countries have a way worse support and healthcare system than my own, I can also understand your side.
It is undeniable that some people seek support in a quantity and quality that is simply impossible to receive on a board such as MFC. It's even against the rules. It's one thing if someone is in a very delineated situation and needs help with picking option A or option B, because these situations are very clearly defined in the limitations of what strangers are expected to provide and clearly show what kind of help people want.
In those cases, I am more lenient myself and say that people can surely ask that if they need an unbiased, diverse view and it's a simple decision like a poll.
But I also have to agree that many go far beyond that. In a way that their entire life story would require a dissection and proper treatment of real and severe psychological illnesses. The kind which require professional treatment once they reach a certain point. Which is way beyond what most of us are qualified to provide here and also not what people come here for.
Mutual respect is important. Mental health has become such a big topic online however that people unfortunately sometimes forget that everyone has their own package to carry as well and that some people do not want additional burdens. Which is totally understandable. It's not selfish nor a lack of empathy but simply self-care. Something that is extremely important to uphold. We aren't all trash cans so to speak that people can dump their baggage into while arguing that everyone needs to have sympathy 24/7. No one has the strength for that. Not even those who want to help everyone. And they either take a break or break apart trying to be too empathic and too kind.
And I really do think these problems are valid. But I also know that the wrong kind of help can be worse than no help at all. And that is what could happen to them. That they end up feeling worse and I don't want this for them either. They wouldn't even be able to blame anyone since they themselves pushed the topic.
It's why I'm okay with such boundaries. You have a right to not be burdened by the emotional weight of another. Just like they also have the right to their own boundaries and pain within reason. It just needs to be healthy. If boundaries with someone's own health extend so far that everyone else has their own freedom and boundaries infringed, then that's not healthy for either side. And it often happens online where people demand strangers to act this or that way but they forget that have their own problems to deal with and can't watch out for every stranger in-depth. It's why rules help. To prevent a single person becoming too demanding on one side but to also allow people some leeway to get help.
You may have also stuck with this website because it has these rules that protect you from other people's trauma. And you might just want to relax to recharge the energy you've spent.
Few are truly trying to invalidate that person's pain. It's more on the level of respecting the choice of the people who made the website and those who use it to keep this topic to a minimum and to the boards where it belongs. Because there are many mental health boards where you can pour your heart out and people will know what to expect.
My personal experience is that some people are so hurt that they don't realize how far their own boundaries and demands have extended. To the point where they don't even consider anymore that other people also suffer and that their rejection comes from their own stress, problems, wishes and so on. I don't blame them for ignoring others since it is a symptom of their illness in most cases, but it's clear that some people make a huge deal out of everything just because someone else has their own values and their own life and health to look after. And in those cases it needs to be mentioned that other people aren't just cruel for no reason. I'm sure you aren't trying to be mean in any shape or form either.
It would do everyone well to understand your side as well. To consider more than one opinion because sometimes there is no wrong and both sides shouldn't be dismissed carelessly but handled sensibly in accordance with the rules. It's not one side which is hateful and cruel and the other that is empathic and kind. No, not at all. There is a side that has enough to deal with themselves that going down such deep problems goes beyond what they are capable of providing a stranger with at this point. Especially if it's a stranger who demands everyone to adjust their boundaries but will not adjust their own. Such a person is often in so much pain that they need professional help. Since any well-meant advice might still be shot down and misinterpreted.
I don't know the person who wrote the diary entry. I don't mean to dismiss their problems either. They are real and valid. But it would do them better if they seek help from sources which are better equipped to do so. Because I also understand your side. I also reach points where hearing one more complaint would make me reach my limit. So for many, a website where the rules don't allow for extensive mental health excursions can be a safe place for those people. Just like a mental health forum is a safe place for someone struggling with their mental health.
Balance is important. Both sides have their rights but on MFC, the rules are there to allow people some respite from their problems as well. And that needs to be understood by people with mental health problems as well without lashing out at those who want it that way.
I don't like it when people automatically call people out just because they currently have no space for a stranger's emotions. While some may say to just scroll further then instead of saying something negative, many don't put proper warnings either and you can't unsee what you saw. The damage is done in that regard so I also understand those who voice their feelings. You're not evil or apathic for it. You're just a human with their own emotions to deal with and their own needs. I don't want to judge people for it because I know myself that I sometimes just don't have the strength to even deal with negative news that are unrelated to me. So of course that also applies to others I'd assume. I wish people wouldn't have that "you're either for me or against me" mentality. Not everything is about opposing extremes. If someone wants sympathy, they also need to show sympathy for those who may just not have it in them to replace an actual psychologist for a stranger. Because there's also a sort of commitment to support. It's better to reject it right away than to support someone and then drop them because the superficial sympathy faded.
In the end, people also have to expect negative comments if they post something publicly. Not everyone will agree and saying "just scroll further, I didn't ask for those kinds of comments" is also dismissive. Your feelings also matter. And acting like someone is entitled to a completely safe space where no one criticizes them and only their boundaries and wishes count will end up helping no one. It won't make people more supportive and it won't help their problem. It can't just work in the favor of one person while the rest needs to adjust. And especially if they don't show the same behavior they expect of someone else.
I'm sorry for the long comment. I just believe you also deserve to be heard and your point is just as valid as someone's mental health is. And in the end, many receive better help from dedicated forums, friends/family and psychologists rather than random strangers. That is simply true even if their pain is valid. And my care for them is shown by by being clear that just getting strangers to listen will only help shortterm if at all.
100% totally agree! i have a reasonable sized pond at home and i attempted to try to grow lotus in there in my attempt at creating a mini version but alas that didnt work lol :)
Aw thank you so much! I shall achieve him one day!!! The real kicker is his cross-dress figure (cries). The day I get that is the day I've financially proved myself lol
![A-Z: - [S] - 1/7 (Good Smile Company, Myethos)](https://static.myfigurecollection.net/upload/items/0/970343-8674e.jpg)
Comments127
It is undeniable that some people seek support in a quantity and quality that is simply impossible to receive on a board such as MFC. It's even against the rules. It's one thing if someone is in a very delineated situation and needs help with picking option A or option B, because these situations are very clearly defined in the limitations of what strangers are expected to provide and clearly show what kind of help people want.
In those cases, I am more lenient myself and say that people can surely ask that if they need an unbiased, diverse view and it's a simple decision like a poll.
But I also have to agree that many go far beyond that. In a way that their entire life story would require a dissection and proper treatment of real and severe psychological illnesses. The kind which require professional treatment once they reach a certain point. Which is way beyond what most of us are qualified to provide here and also not what people come here for.
Mutual respect is important. Mental health has become such a big topic online however that people unfortunately sometimes forget that everyone has their own package to carry as well and that some people do not want additional burdens. Which is totally understandable. It's not selfish nor a lack of empathy but simply self-care. Something that is extremely important to uphold. We aren't all trash cans so to speak that people can dump their baggage into while arguing that everyone needs to have sympathy 24/7. No one has the strength for that. Not even those who want to help everyone. And they either take a break or break apart trying to be too empathic and too kind.
And I really do think these problems are valid. But I also know that the wrong kind of help can be worse than no help at all. And that is what could happen to them. That they end up feeling worse and I don't want this for them either. They wouldn't even be able to blame anyone since they themselves pushed the topic.
It's why I'm okay with such boundaries. You have a right to not be burdened by the emotional weight of another. Just like they also have the right to their own boundaries and pain within reason. It just needs to be healthy. If boundaries with someone's own health extend so far that everyone else has their own freedom and boundaries infringed, then that's not healthy for either side. And it often happens online where people demand strangers to act this or that way but they forget that have their own problems to deal with and can't watch out for every stranger in-depth. It's why rules help. To prevent a single person becoming too demanding on one side but to also allow people some leeway to get help.
You may have also stuck with this website because it has these rules that protect you from other people's trauma. And you might just want to relax to recharge the energy you've spent.
Few are truly trying to invalidate that person's pain. It's more on the level of respecting the choice of the people who made the website and those who use it to keep this topic to a minimum and to the boards where it belongs. Because there are many mental health boards where you can pour your heart out and people will know what to expect.
My personal experience is that some people are so hurt that they don't realize how far their own boundaries and demands have extended. To the point where they don't even consider anymore that other people also suffer and that their rejection comes from their own stress, problems, wishes and so on. I don't blame them for ignoring others since it is a symptom of their illness in most cases, but it's clear that some people make a huge deal out of everything just because someone else has their own values and their own life and health to look after. And in those cases it needs to be mentioned that other people aren't just cruel for no reason. I'm sure you aren't trying to be mean in any shape or form either.
It would do everyone well to understand your side as well. To consider more than one opinion because sometimes there is no wrong and both sides shouldn't be dismissed carelessly but handled sensibly in accordance with the rules. It's not one side which is hateful and cruel and the other that is empathic and kind. No, not at all. There is a side that has enough to deal with themselves that going down such deep problems goes beyond what they are capable of providing a stranger with at this point. Especially if it's a stranger who demands everyone to adjust their boundaries but will not adjust their own. Such a person is often in so much pain that they need professional help. Since any well-meant advice might still be shot down and misinterpreted.
I don't know the person who wrote the diary entry. I don't mean to dismiss their problems either. They are real and valid. But it would do them better if they seek help from sources which are better equipped to do so. Because I also understand your side. I also reach points where hearing one more complaint would make me reach my limit. So for many, a website where the rules don't allow for extensive mental health excursions can be a safe place for those people. Just like a mental health forum is a safe place for someone struggling with their mental health.
Balance is important. Both sides have their rights but on MFC, the rules are there to allow people some respite from their problems as well. And that needs to be understood by people with mental health problems as well without lashing out at those who want it that way.
I don't like it when people automatically call people out just because they currently have no space for a stranger's emotions. While some may say to just scroll further then instead of saying something negative, many don't put proper warnings either and you can't unsee what you saw. The damage is done in that regard so I also understand those who voice their feelings. You're not evil or apathic for it. You're just a human with their own emotions to deal with and their own needs. I don't want to judge people for it because I know myself that I sometimes just don't have the strength to even deal with negative news that are unrelated to me. So of course that also applies to others I'd assume. I wish people wouldn't have that "you're either for me or against me" mentality. Not everything is about opposing extremes. If someone wants sympathy, they also need to show sympathy for those who may just not have it in them to replace an actual psychologist for a stranger. Because there's also a sort of commitment to support. It's better to reject it right away than to support someone and then drop them because the superficial sympathy faded.
In the end, people also have to expect negative comments if they post something publicly. Not everyone will agree and saying "just scroll further, I didn't ask for those kinds of comments" is also dismissive. Your feelings also matter. And acting like someone is entitled to a completely safe space where no one criticizes them and only their boundaries and wishes count will end up helping no one. It won't make people more supportive and it won't help their problem. It can't just work in the favor of one person while the rest needs to adjust. And especially if they don't show the same behavior they expect of someone else.
I'm sorry for the long comment. I just believe you also deserve to be heard and your point is just as valid as someone's mental health is. And in the end, many receive better help from dedicated forums, friends/family and psychologists rather than random strangers. That is simply true even if their pain is valid. And my care for them is shown by by being clear that just getting strangers to listen will only help shortterm if at all.
Oh my god!! i so wish that too! they need to start making some! although i would have to make some room as i am quickly running out of space lol :)